OUR ADOPTION STORY
But you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” Romans 8:15 ESV
A few years ago we had a medical Missionary to China come to our church on a Wednesday night. There were just a few folks there that night as he spoke about his work as a doctor with the Chinese people.
One of the things he mentioned was that baby girls were being abandoned by the millions. These infant girls were left in garbage dumps, they were left on streets, and they were left in front of orphanages.
Pastor Russell Moore the father of two boys he originally adopted from Russia said this describing the plight of Orphans-
“Imagine, for a moment, the plight of an orphan somewhere out there. With every passing year, she will become less "cute," thus less adoptable.
In a few years, on her eighteenth birthday, she will be expelled from the system. She might join the military or find job training. Maybe she'll stare at a tile on the ceiling above her as her body is violated—alone or before a camera crew of strangers—by a man who's willing to pay enough for her to eat for one day. Maybe she'll place a revolver in her mouth or tie a rope around her neck, knowing no one will notice except the ones who have to clean up afterward. This story could just as well describe a boy who is orphaned. Can you feel the desperation of what it means to be an orphan? Jesus can. Orphans are his little sisters and brothers. He hears them.”
Now understand at the time we heard this, we already had three kids, the oldest already graduated and our youngest was already a teenager.
We were already in our 40’s. We were not exactly prime candidates to adopt.
We had never talked about or even considered adoption. It wasn’t even a thought in our minds but my wife, Carol and I independently that very same night felt the call of God to adopt.
Both of us were shocked when we spoke to the other about this.
Both of us felt like the other would not consider it.
After prayer and discussion with our kids-we followed God’s leading.
We faced a couple of problems.
Adoption was going to be a $25,000-$30,000 project.
We had no money. I don’t mean we didn’t have any on hand but we had money in a retirement account or a savings account- I mean we had no money.
Second problem- According to the Chinese government our income level was too low to adopt. That was kind of a weird experience; when a communist government says you aren’t making enough money.
Shortly after we discovered that our income was not high enough- Carol was sitting at school waiting to pick our kids up from school and the principal at the time walked outside and offered her a job. The job provided the exact income we needed for the Chinese government’s approval within a few hundred dollars.
Carol and I both took on second jobs cleaning an office building; between the jobs and taking a second mortgage out on the house and God answering prayer we were able to raise the money.
This entire process took us three long years and to be honest it was discouraging.
Some reactions-
• We went to some Christian groups asking for financial help and we were told if you can’t afford to do it yourself then you shouldn’t do it.
• You are doing what at your age?
• Why don’t you adopt from America ? (There is a need to adopt kids from America like others have done but that wasn’t what God had said to us.)
• Adopted kids will turn on you because they are not your blood
• Aren’t the Communist Chinese encouraging these adoptions as a way to subvert America?
• When the process was taking us an extremely long time to raise the money- We were repeatedly asked “Are you still doing that?”
A three year process with-
• Little encouragement
• Struggling finances
• Little hope
• Little progress
It might have been the toughest thing we ever did.
Eventually we did make it to China.
I vividly remember our “Gotcha” Day.
As we walked into this building of strange smells and sounds we saw a small van drive over the curb. Then we saw these terrified babies being carried into this building.
I can remember walking down a narrow hallway and riding an elevator that rattled and struggled to ascend. Waiting in a crowded hot room and then that moment when our name was called and our newest daughter was placed in our hands.
Something we noticed after a few days with our youngest daughter is that she never cried.
We had already noticed the way she would pound her head against the glass window of the bus.
We had seen the scratch marks on her back and arms.
We had received the black eyes and bruises from bite marks and head butts.
But the strangest and even creepiest thing is that she never cried.
• Not even when we discovered she had traveled 20 hours on a plane with a double ear infection.
• Not when she jammed her finger in a door jam
• Not when she fell.
She never cried.
Crying is a normal human reaction.
It doesn’t have to be taught but it can be unlearned.
She unlearned how to cry because nobody cared when she cried. (Understand this was our experience but not everyone’s experience. Also remember that the Orphanage workers were not cruel or negligent but they were often overwhelmed by the number of children for whom they must care.)
She spent the first 18 months deprived of almost any human contact.
She spent 22 hours a day in a crib.
• Why cry when nobody cares?
• Why cry when nobody will answer?
• Why cry when nobody will respond?
One of our happiest days as Parents was the day that she finally really cried because crying meant she thought somebody cared. (By the way-she eventually learned to really milk this thing for all that it was worth).
Do you care?
• Will you help teach a baby how to cry?
• Will you help somebody else that will adopt?
• Not every Christian is called to adopt but every Christian is called to help Orphans-what can you do?
Learn to do good.
Seek justice.
Help the oppressed.
Defend the cause of orphans.
Fight for the rights of widows.
Isaiah 1:17 NLT
Every person that attempts great things will face great opposition
One thing I have decided is that I am going to Defend the cause of Orphans
I am only ONE;
but still I AM ONE.
I CANNOT DO EVERYTHING;
but still I CAN DO SOMETHING;
and because I cannot do everything,
I WILL NOT REFUSE TO DO THE SOMETHING THAT I CAN DO.
Edward Everett Hale
• I can do something. The cry of the lazy, the rebellious and the complacent is that “I can’t fix everything so I will do nothing.”
• I will tell my story to whoever will listen.
• I will tell it whenever I have a chance.
I want to give my life to remind every”one” that everybody can do something
